Zuko's Tale Revamped
by hime the stars shine bright
Summary: For an art trade on DA. Zuko hates going out on dates, and nobody's gonna make him go, not even Uncle. Too bad, this one chick's going to drag him even if it kills him. Of course, it'd help if the girl was actually a girl. Slight crack.


It was a nice, sunny evening. The scent of light jasmine tea, cinnamon, and mint filled the sweet aura of the Jasmine Dragon, which was half empty today.

Zuko stepped out of the kitchen, dressed in his usual garb of an apron, and set down a cup of tea in front of a young man...woman who looked no older then Zuko himself.

This person had strange, light-gold colored hair that fell long past their shoulders down their back, thick, and covered half of their face. One charismatic crystal-clear blue eye looked up at Zuko (as the other one was covered by hair and couldn't be seen), and the unknown person smiled.

"Hi."

Zuko kept his signature frowny-face on, "Hi. Here's your tea."

"Thank you." The person smiled, and Zuko couldn't help the strange unsettling feeling about this person in his stomach.

As Zuko walked back to the kitchen with the empty tray, he could feel the person-who's-gender-could-not-be-confirmed's eyes boring into his back and shivered.

She knows.

He entered the tea kitchen, tossing the empty tray onto the side, "Uncle! I think we have to get out of here, now."

Iroh, who had been humming and pouring tea into a couple of cups, looked up, "Why do you say that?"

Zuko grabbed his uncle's arm and dragged him over to peek outside the kitchen, "Look."

"At what?"

"Look at the person over there."

"Which one?"

"The strange one with the funky hair!"

Iroh scanned the tea shop, squinting his eyes, and then smiled, "Oh! What about her?"

"...That's a girl?"

"Of course! Just look at that hair! It's almost as nice as mine."

"Uncle! This is important!"

"Ok, ok, go on then."

"I believe she suspects us," Zuko said in a harsh whisper, "Every day she comes in, orders tea, and then does nothing but stare at me! She's on to us uncle, we have to leave."

Iroh looked at his nephew for a moment, and then chuckled. "Oh, I do not think that is the problem, my nephew. Why don't you try talking to her?"

"Because I don't plan on getting stuck on another date like what happened with Jin!"

"Aww, come on, nephew. Perhaps she wants to be your friend. Go talk to her!"

"Never!"

~ ...10 minutes later... ~

I hate this.

Zuko had been clearing the wierd blond girl's table, thinking she had left when she popped up from behind him, arms folded behind her, and a big smile on her face.

"Hiya!"

"Aah!" Zuko jumped, getting into a defense stance immediately. The girl giggled.

"My name's Jia." the girl said in a high, flirty voice, as she folded her arms across her chest, holding a notebook. "What's yours?"

Zuko quickly answered, "Lee!"

"That's cool." Jia pointed, "I met your uncle, too, he's very nice."

Iroh appeared behind Zuko, "Well, thank you. Lee, you should go with Jia around Ba-Sing-Se. Lee doesn't have many friends." he chuckled and placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko in return glared at him.

"What? Uncle, I-"

"Oh, it's no problem!" Jia smiled brightly, "I'll meet you back here in an hour! How's that?"

Zuko opened his mouth to protest, but Iroh once again answered for him, "It's a date!"

...

Zuko was having a fit. He didn't want to go out on this so called "date".

"I told you I wasn't gonna go on any more of these stupid dates!"

Iroh simply watched, blinking, as Zuko tore through his stuff looking for clothes, "Jin and Jia. It is a one letter difference!"

"Maybe you have luck with ladies who's names are three letters long." Iroh said, counting on his fingers, "Mai, Jin, and now Jia-"

"Be quiet!" Zuko snapped, turning back around with some clothes in his arms. "I have to get ready, leave!"

Iroh chuckled as he left his nephew and went downstairs.

Silly little nephew.

...

When Zuko got downstairs, Jia was already there waiting for him.

"Have a nice time!" Iroh called out when she dragged Zuko out by his arm. The pair walked through the familiar streets of Bah-Sing-Se, and Zuko could feel his curiosity peeking up.

"So, where are we gonna go?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go eat somewhere and then go to the lake!"

"There are lakes in Bah-Sing-Se?"

"Duh!" Jia looked at him with a surprised look on her face, "You didn't know that?"

"No..."

"Wow Lee, you're slow!"

"Wh-" Zuko made a face, "I am not slow!"

Jia laughed and poked Zuko's face, "Yeah, you are! Oh hey, we're here!"

Zuko looked up and stared at the resturant. "What is this place?"

"Don't worry about it, let's go get some food!" and proceeded to drag Zuko inside.

"Don't drag me!"

"Shut up and come on!"

...

"Hey, Lee?" Jia asked as she and Zuko left the restaurant to their ultimate destination- the lake.

"What?"

"Thanks for paying for lunch." Jia said, her high, flirty voice returning as she kissed his cheek.

"S-Sure." Zuko answered, his face turning pink.

"Aaah, we're here!" Jia exclaimed, taking in a deep breath, "Smell the fresh air, Lee?"

"I smell the meat smokehouse over there." Zuko said in a disgusted tone, pointing to the meat house that sat a couple feet away.

Jia laughed, "Don't be so negative, Lee! This is Bah-Sing-Se's only major mass of water." she declared proudly as they stepped onto the sandy banks of the lake. "Lake Kiro."

"Kiro?"

"Yes, Kiro." Jia answered in a mocking tone. "Heheh, last one in the water's a pregnant turtleduck!"

Zuko spluttered at the very thought of being a pregnant turtleduck, but then realized that, oh hell no, a girl was stripping right in front of him.

And well, he would've covered his eyes and looked away, because obviously he was the fire prince and princes do not watch when girls are taking their clothes off, but there was something that made Zuko stop and stare.

You see, Jia shrugged out of her pants first, but then she pulled off her shirt.

...To reveal a flat, toned six pack.

Zuko stared.

and stared.

and stared.

Jia noticed.

"Lee?"

and walked up to Zuko.

"Lee?"

waved her hand in front of his face.

"Hey, Lee!"

Zuko screamed, startling Jia considerably, making her take a step back.

"W-What?"

"You're a man!" Zuko shrieked, backing away from Jia, who raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah...and?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Zuko fumed.

"Well, I'd assume you knew I was a male." Jia rolled her- his eyes.

Zuko place a hand on his face where Jia had kissed him earlier, "And you- you kissed- why?"

Jia folded his arms across his chest matter-of-factly, "I'm gay, duh."

Zuko was speechless. "Gay...?"

"Yup!" Jia grinned, "You know what gay means, right?"

Zuko stared, dumbstruck.

Jia sighed exasperatedly, facepalming, "You really ARE slow, Lee. You know, gay? Take it up the tailpipe?" he grinned, pushing that long bang that covered his right eye to the side, only to have it fall back in place.

"Take it...up...tailpipe...so...you like... men?" Zuko said in a slow, astonished whisper.

Jia flipped his hair, "Uhuh."

Zuko stared at him for a moment, before turning on his heel and making a run for it.

"Ah-HEY!" Jia called out, "LEE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"LEE, WAIT!"

"STAY AWAY!"

"LEE!"

"NO!"

...

When Zuko got home, he was gasping for air and freaking out. He slammed the door to the Jasmine Dragon open, and then shut, storming in.

Iroh appeared from the kitchen, a sly look on his face, "How was your date, Prince Zuko?"

"HE'S A MAN!" Zuko shrieked, marching across the floor to his room and then throwing his arms up in the air for emphasis, "A MAN!"

Iroh's sly look quickly dissolved, "Wha- Prince Zuko-"

Zuko stormed across the floor to his room and slammed the sliding door shut. "A MAN!"

Iroh covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing, as he turned his back to Zuko's door and continued cleaning a teapot.

...

Meanwhile, back in the Fire Nation...

...

"How did it go?" Azula sat on her throne, back straight and arms folded across her chest.

A blond haired young man stood in front of her, blue eyes glistening in excitement.

"Wonderful. He ran away screaming."

"Did you kiss him?"

Jia's accomplished grin grew wider, "I did."

"Excellent." Azula smirked, "Dismissed."

Mai walked into the courtroom, "I know Zuko's not on our side anymore, but is this really necessary?"

Azula snorted, "Oh, please, don't tell me you're feeling pity for him. Zuzu can handle it."


End file.
